Financial Abuse with Bevin & I Grew Strong's Ali Clark & Laura Clay
On this episode of Financially Naked: Stories from The Financial Gym, Bevin Morgan is joined by Laura Clay and Ali Clark from I Grew Strong to talk about a sensitive and incredibly important topic: financial abuse.
Today, they start by defining financial abuse and discussing the different forms it can take. They also talk about tools to help yourself, friends, or loved ones who may be experiencing financial trauma or abuse.
Podcast Notes
What is financial abuse?
Every circumstance is different. Some examples include having to get permission to spend money, only being given a small allowance, not having your name on any bills, being told to stay at home, or having a lack of choice or freedom around finances.
People often will experience low confidence, self-doubt, or feel fear and shame.
Isolation and dependency is created. It’s all about control.
Sometimes the signs are subtle or the actions aren’t completely conscious. You may have felt like you started on the same page, but the dynamic has shifted.
It can look like a partner getting angry or giving the silent treatment.
I Grew Strong focuses on empowering clients. They work to help people make decisions and use resources to get the help they need.
How do I know if I’m living with a narcissist or struggling with financial abuse?
There may be signs of gaslighting, stonewalling, or confusion. The first step is paying close attention to your emotional reactions while interacting with this person.
How can we help empower our loved ones if they are struggling with financial abuse?
Have blunt and tough conversations with your loved ones. Let them know you love and support them, but warn them of the danger. From there, help them by providing tools and empowering them to make their own choices.
We can’t control other people. We can only provide tools, and help our loved ones know their rights and set boundaries. You can help them look for a child advocate or other professionals who can provide support in delicate circumstances.
It can help to ask, ‘what would you tell a friend or daughter to do if they were in this position?’
Encourage them to imagine what they want their future to look like. Even if it’s hard to really picture it. From there, think about what can be done today to get one step closer to that future.
If you’re with a partner or spouse who has experienced financial abuse in the past, how can you work on it together now?
Get to the root and find the real story. Whether it is over spending, over saving, or financial anxiety, explore where the feelings are coming from. That is the best place to start.
Have deep conversations and find common ground. Create a vision for the future that addresses the fears and anxieties, so each partner feels taken care of and secure.
Final Thoughts
We can only control our own stories and our own choices. We cannot control other people and how they will react. What power and control do you have? What choices can you make right now?
People are more powerful than they know.
There is help out there, reach out to a family member, or professional like an expert from I Grew Strong.