Are Your Finances Married?
On this episode of Financially Naked: Stories from The Financial Gym, two of our Certified Financial Trainers, Kylie and Jazmin are talking about blending finances with a partner. This topic is very common among Financial Gym clients. From couples reimagining the way they manage their finances to helping folks navigate combining them for the first time, our Trainers see it all. Today Jazmin and Kylie talk about how they both manage money in their relationships, and the advice they share with clients.
Podcast Notes
Jazmin has been married for fifteen years and they have children together. When they first moved in together, they were both in new careers, experiencing a lot of changes, and managing finances separately.
At first, they didn’t have a lot of money discussions and this added stress to the relationship. It felt messy, so they started making changes and opened their first joint account. As the kids got older and there were more shared expenses, they used the joint account more regularly.
They decided to close the separate accounts and operate from the joint ‘family business accounts’. In addition, they maintain separate brokerage and retirement accounts. Jazmin and her husband check in quarterly to review the big accounts and touch base about their goals.
Kylie has been with her partner for eight years and married for three. A couple of dates in, they were chatting about salary, history with money, and other finance-related conversations.
They moved in together after a year, and maintained split finances. After getting married, they kept a separate management style where there is transparency, but things are in separate accounts.
Tips for Blended Finances:
Communication is number one. It’s important to be able to talk with your partner about money openly and comfortably.
Recognize that mistakes happen, but every money mistake is fixable. Be gentle with yourself, and learn from when they happen.
There are different ways that couples can manage money, and it’s about figuring out what works best for you.
There can be blended accounts, completely separate, or a combination of both. Jazmin and Kylie talk about what that can look like logistically.
This can change throughout the relationship. Check in every so often to see how it feels, what’s working, what’s not working, and make adjustments as needed.
Dream about your money goals together, so you’re on the same page. This is a HUGE step.
Use those goals to set money rules for your relationship. It helps you manage money as a team and keep clear boundaries.
Schedule time to talk with each other about finance, and keep the appointment. You can make it fun, accountability is what’s important here.
Tips for folks who feel anxious about getting financially naked with a partner:
If you’ve never been financially naked together, working with a Trainer at Financial Gym is an amazing option. While you can do it on your own, a Trainer is a third-party mediator, they provide accountability, and lead the conversation. It can be very helpful, especially if talking about money makes you anxious.
Be open and compassionate with one another. Talking about money is challenging, and you are working together as a team.
Some example questions you can ask your partner to get the money conversation started:
What is your first money memory?
What are your big financial goals and what are you doing to achieve them?
What financial habit are you most proud of?
How did your upbringing shape how you view money?
What is the biggest financial challenge you’ve had to work through?
Money is incredibly difficult to figure out on your own. It takes time to find a system that works for both partners, and there will be trial and error. Have compassion for one another.
Tools & Resources for Blending Finances
The Honeydue Finance App is great for couples and takes out some of the learning curves.
1-1 Accountability Coaching with a Certified Financial Trainer