ADHD and Personal Finances with Myriam Robinson and Amalia Sirica
On this episode of Financially Naked: Stories from The Financial Gym, our host is Myriam Robinson, Brooklyn-based Financial Trainer, and she is joined by Amalia Sirica, licensed clinical social worker and client of The Gym, to talk about ADHD and finances.
Podcast Notes
One thing people with ADHD may have is more intense impulse control. Self-awareness and self-acceptance is important, in order to recognize the things that are calling to you.
Take a few breaths and try to stretch out that moment between impulse and action. Institute a waiting period for purchases and having an accountability partner. Make a list of items you are looking to buy and plan for gifts you want to buy.
There is a lot of help out there. The social work lens is that the person isn’t the problem, society is the problem. There is nothing wrong with people with ADHD, society is set up in a rigid way that makes it hard to navigate if you don’t fit into the boxes. There is a lot of shame for people who don’t fit into the world as it was created and a shame avoidance cycle can be created, which creates more shame and debt.
Amalia feels like her financial trainer, Jenny, is her financial therapist. We weren’t born with all of the tools we need to manage finances successfully on our own. Society is built on instant gratification with advertising and stimulation and it is difficult to pause first.
Behavior is a message, it isn’t random. Procrastination is rooted in fear and avoidance. If we can figure out the root, we can address the behavior changes. Usually we stay focused on the behavior and beat ourselves up about it and end up in a shame spiral, when really we need to look at what we are scared of.
Often, we know what we are doing isn’t working anymore, but it is all we have ever known. We know we want to evolve and change, but it is scary and we don’t know another way, which leads to self-sabotage.
Net worth does not reflect your self-worth. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, so many people don’t know what they are doing with their finances.
Children come into this world with unlimited amounts of love and trust and they believe what they are told. Without an adult filter, comments can really affect the way children feel about themselves. Neurodiverse individuals hear things their entire lives like they are a mess, unorganized, all over the place, etc. That become real and they need to unlearn those messages as adults.
ADHD looks chaotic and it starts to feel homey and normal, but debilitating and overwhelming. Brené Brown talks about shame shutting us down, because the fear of being judged. Have weekly check-ins with someone who can guide you through the space until it starts to feel less overwhelming.
At The Gym, even if you come into the financially naked session with nothing, that’s okay. Just show up.
Things that may help are automating your bills and savings.
Sometimes we know what we need to do to stop the chaos, but it can be overwhelming. Peace can feel scary if we’ve never experienced it. Living with ADHD in a world that is constantly saying something is wrong with you is traumatic. Nothing is wrong with you because you need extra help. A lot of people deal with this.
We need to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. Having someone who encourages you and is your cheerleader is powerful. Go to the core of “who am I?” and “what do I want?”. Your goals are attainable.
We all start with “I am beyond help”. Having an external voice saying “that’s not true” is powerful. Eventually, you are able to do that for yourself. Reach out for help, send a text, instead of acting on an impulse.
A lot of people with ADHD are creative and curious and interested in many different things. Oftentimes they are flexible and quick to adapt. People with ADHD typically just need a container and help building a system, so they can create freely and do all of the things they are here to do.
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