Starting a family can be an exciting—but also stressful. This is especially true for individuals and couples who have to deal with additional costs to conceive a child, including LGBTQIA+ couples, single parents by choice, and hetero couples facing fertility challenges.
Costs of Starting a Family with Medical Intervention
One of the frustrating aspects of starting a family when you’ll need medical intervention is that you have no way of knowing the final cost when you’re just starting out. The total depends on a number of factors including what medical interventions you need, what your insurance covers, and which clinic you use.
For gay cis-female couples, couples in which at least one partner has a functioning female reproductive system, and single moms by choice, the cost is very dependent on what type of procedures are needed to conceive (typically IUI or IVF) and how many rounds of each are needed. It’s not unusual for the total cost to be somewhere between $30,000-$60,000.
For gay cis-male couples, couples in which neither partner has a functioning female reproductive system, or single dads by choice, the cost of having a child can easily reach $140,000 due to the added expense of surrogacy.
How to Pay for Fertility Treatments & Other Family Planning Expenses
The immense expense associated with having children begs the question: How do people afford this?
Insurance Coverage
If you have health insurance, you should start by exploring what, if anything, your insurance would cover. Health insurance does not usually cover the cost of sperm, transfer costs, or storage costs. This can total at least a few thousand dollars. Some insurers may cover the full cost of IUI or IVF while others might at least cover medication, which can cost between $5,000-$10,000 itself. You should call your insurance provider and ask about which specific interventions they will cover and under what circumstances. Unfortunately, LGBTQIA+ couples sometimes face discrimination and extra costs due to the medical definition of infertility that some insurers follow.
Personal Savings & Investments
After health insurance, evaluate what personal resources you have to pay for the costs. This can include cash in a savings account and any taxable investment accounts you have. You can also tap into Health Savings Accounts (HSAs) and Flexible Spending Accounts (FSAs) for these medical expenses. While we recommend exploring all of your other options first, some people do borrow from their 401k to fund fertility treatments.
Grants
You can apply for grants that could help with some of the medical costs related to starting a family. Here are some resources to check out:
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LGBTQ-friendly grant programs collected by Gay Parents To Be
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Grant programs collected by RESOLVE
Many of the grants do charge application fees.
Financing Options
Many clinics offer financing options themselves or through partners. The quality of these loans can vary so make sure to dig into the details of the offering (interest rate, origination fees, monthly payment, pre-payment penalties) and compare them to what you can find elsewhere. You can also shop around for personal loans or credit cards that offer a 0% interest introductory rate for a certain period of time to cover at least a portion of your costs. If you are a homeowner, tapping your home’s equity through a home equity line of credit (HELOC) or cash out refinance could also be an option (although like with a 401k loan, you should carefully consider the pros and cons of this).
With all of these financing options, be sure to consider how the additional expense will fit into your budget, particularly once you have all of those new baby expenses as well!
Final Thoughts
Although it can still be challenging, there are multiple options to pay for fertility treatments and other expenses related to having a child with medical intervention. Estimating your potential costs and fully exploring your personal options for funding can help you feel a little more prepared as you set out to expand your family.
