Money avoidance is a common problem, especially among the younger generations—according to a Discover survey, 41% of Gen Z and 27% of Millennials avoid looking at their bank account balances. This reaction is natural, but allowing it to go unaddressed can worsen the problem. Luckily, there are ways to break this cycle, and understanding why you avoid money and what type of money avoider you are can help.
Why you avoid money
Human brains are hard-wired to avoid pain, so if money is associated with unpleasant feelings, it makes sense that you’d avoid it. Those unpleasant feelings include shame, uncertainty, regret, fear, and anxiety. Avoidance gives you immediate relief from those feelings, even if it ultimately increases them over the long run.
Types of money avoiders
Classic Avoider
The classic avoider takes the “head in the sand” approach to finances because they are afraid to engage with money. They will avoid opening bills, checking their bank account balance, or examining their spending. They may even try to avoid thinking about money.
Humorist Avoider
The humorist avoider uses humor to deflect their true feelings about money. They joke about things like dying with their student loans, never being able to retire, or their empty bank accounts to buy a round at the bar. While they may openly acknowledge their money struggles in this way, making jokes about it mitigates the unpleasant feelings they are trying to avoid.
Optimist Avoider
The optimist avoider tell themselves that a future windfall or change in circumstances will fix their financial situation. Because they believe that there is an external solution to their money problems coming just around the bend, they let themselves off the hook for addressing their money issues in the present moment.
How to Overcome Money Avoidance
Recognize your patterns
Once avoidance becomes ingrained, you might not even realize you’re doing it. Keeping a journal about your money avoidance can help you recognize your patterns. Start by writing about past situations when you’ve avoided something financial. Answer the following questions:
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What feelings did you experience during this situation?
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What did you gain by avoiding money in this situation?
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What did you lose by avoiding money in this situation?
Continue to write about your money avoidance as it happens. Additionally, talking to a therapist can help you recognize exactly what feelings you’re trying to avoid and why.
Take small steps
Avoidance begets more avoidance. According to an article from Psychology Today, “By evading challenges, we signal to our brains that the only way of handling difficult situations is to flee rather than confront them. This bolsters our avoidance instincts. The more we sidestep, the more we perpetuate an unending cycle of discomfort that gradually infiltrates every aspect of our lives.” You can start to break that cycle by taking one small step that makes you uncomfortable and breaks through the avoidance: open one bill, sign up for balance alerts from your bank, or review your spending from the past few days.
